Now, Where was I?

ahh yes, ignoring my blog again wasn’t I?

Well, they say no news is good news right? err, maybe not. Ok, well I guess the tiny bit of good news is that finally 2 months and 1 week after applying for Employment Insurance we got money. So yes, that is good news, was getting very scared again as the tax refund money was dwindling down. But that’s about it. It has now been 4 months and 1 week since Alex got laid off, we stopped counting how many jobs he had applied for a couple months ago as the number surpassed 400! We totally got screwed again by another company leading us to believe he had a job with them, I guess at least we can be thankful that this time it was not for an entire month and a half like last time, this time it all went down in a week. Within 3 days it went from the job was his and the Employment agency guy was just negotiating pay with the company, to all of a sudden there was no longer a job offer. He was promised a phone call from the guy there who wanted him so badly with an explanation as to what the hell happened, but apparently these days people have nothing better to do than say they’re going to do things they don’t. So we don’t even know the real reason why the job offer was pulled, supposedly it was because they cut back on the pay for that position and hubby is worth more than that, but even though he was willing to work for the lower amount just to get back to work they felt he would leave if he found something better(ummm, which part of out of work for over 4 months and applied for hundreds of jobs don’t they get?…there’s nothing else to go to right now!)….so anyway, that’s just supposedly, we don’t even know if that’s the real reason, and if it is, what kind of lame ass reason is that? You have a guy more than qualified for the job with fantastic work ethic, ready to start here and now, and even willing to work for $15,000 less than the position should be paying…and you’re going to pass that up?? Idiots I say, all of them LOL.

So, needless to say I’m extremely frustrated, some days I feel like a basketcase because my mind just won’t stop worrying. I have thought about trying to get a part time job myself, Alex really doesn’t want me to, because he knows he’s just not capable of keeping up with stuff at home like I do. And if I did look for something it would have to not interfere with his looking for work, so I would have to work evenings and weekends do keep his weekdays open for job searching and interviews. My biggest issue though is that with all this extra stress lately my body is going haywire. My IBS which I’ve managed to keep tolerable for years has been horrible, even with trying to change my diet it is making no difference, I don’t go a day without major stomach issues now. My anxiety and depression are not helping things, even my “female” issues are all haywire(even more than usual). So I don’t know how I could possibly go out and have to work every night when right now most of my evenings are spent laying down with a heating pad on my stomach, filled up on whatever stomach remedy I feel might keep me from completely going nuts from the pain or discomfort, and unable it seems to focus on any particular thing for more than several minutes at a time.

I’m terrified about the money. Yes EI is finally coming, but he is getting the maximum amount, and that is only enough to pay our rent and about one utility bill a month, never mind the other bills, the car payments, gas for the car, and of course groceries. So the money for all the other stuff comes out of what money we had left from the tax return, and the lump of money we got at once from EI for the weeks we were waiting. But that’s all not going to last long if a job doesn’t come soon.

I’m still trying to think outside the box as I referred to in a post a while ago. I’ve said to Alex that I feel like I have a solution to our problems, you know how you get the “it’s on the tip of my tongue” thing? Well that’s how I feel sort of. We have wanted for a long time to just do something on our own, but the problem is what, we have no money to start anything up. But I just have this feeling that if I could get beyond the “fog” that is on my mind with all the stresses going on, that there is a solution within reach. I have some ideas, but unfortunately they have to do with cooking and baking and to do anything with food just requires too many different licenses, inspections and fees of which I can’t afford, and I’m pretty sure as clean as I like my kitchen(on the days I haven’t said I give up clean up after yourselves LOL), my household kitchen just wouldn’t pass the restrictions on that sort of thing. 

So yeah, that’s the less than exciting status of my less than exciting life as of late!  Oh, and I have a horrible pain in my gums for 3 days now, what a lovely time for something like that. Better not be anything bad because a dentist visit is out of the question, I couldn’t afford to go when we had 80% coverage, with no coverage it’s certainly not going to happen!